It started to be cold here, average temperature is around 18-20. Sadly, my heart doesn’t seem cooler because of weather. I guess im being pretty much cranky these days. Don’t have any money left for the rest month, since I paid my dormitory fee also affecting my mood. But, moreover it’s because I’m struggling with homesick for these past 2 months. It started on summer vacation, when I don’t have anything to do, and keep thinking about going back. And it got worse this semester. It feels like, I finally came to the point: Damn! what did I do here, why do I’m here, how could you spend one year of your life and particularly do nothing ?!. I didn’t mean to regret my decision to go here for 1 year, I mean. I have to, it’s not a choice, and there’s a valid reason for that. Therefore, I have to be responsible for it right. I started to re-read my major books, write a review, see documentary, and I just realized how much I miss it. Studying, in a real way (I’m not trying to look smart, but I mean it). For me, it’s even harder these days since I can barely do anything, even if I’m trying so hard to go home. The only choice I have is: bear it for next 4 months.
Sometimes, it feels so hurt to accept the fact that I’ll lost my friends next year. They will be graduate and we’ll barely see each other again. Everything is gonna be back to the square one. Someone has ever told me (I didn’t remember who) if that’s the point of life. Nothing’s gonna stay last forever, that’s why we has to keep moving. We are the one who has to adjust to the world, not the other way. 4 months feels like forever for me, but I know, I’ll eventually deal with it.